When you found your wife did you find her with a child? Were you over confident or were you fearful of the new responsibility. Either way you had to be a ready-made father. How did you find your wife or how will you find her? Did you find her bitter? Did you find her scared and fearful? Does lust have you thinking about taking care of her sexual needs? The flesh had me thinking all kinds of wrong thoughts but my respect and fear of God kept me from disrespecting her. Yes the thought of sex did enter my mind and those heated kissing moments did not help. What questions are on your woman with child's scared list? My wife told me she feared having another child out of wedlock and the father disappearing. Her greatest fear was having another man come into her life and abuse her child. And you know there are multitudes of abusive stepfather stories out there to justify her feelings.
Is your single mother looking for someone to save her from having to play both parents? Did she want you to save her from the shame associated with being a single mother in this society? Does she desire you to save her from the shadows of her past relationships?
Listen who placed you down here on this earth to be the savior? Jesus' name means savior but it is not the meaning of yours. You can't rescue or bail this woman out! Your down here to walk in your God given purpose and to hopefully fulfill the promises God has made to your wife and to your covenant child. To many times we, as men, mix up the word savior and protector. A "savior" redeems or compensates for a lack of while a "protector" looks out for. When I found my single mother I came into the picture trying to compensate for her lack of a husband and compensate for her child's lack of a father. I was trying to be the savior of this family instead of learning to be the protector, husband, and initiator. I wanted to balance them and bring comfort to all the possible hurts they had experienced. I was wrong and so are you if you are taking this approach.
Relax and learn their story! Find out about their life moments and don't try to use their journey against them! Work on you and you will find them looking better!
Mr. Jenkins your material is clearly relatable regarding what you had to realize as the addition to your family, in the process and not necessarily in the inception of your marriage. I can truly appreciate your views, because unquestionably the wrong approach is common place. If men would take time as you indicated to learn our stories, all involved would get better results. I so appreciate the Biblical based information which is key to success in every area of our lives. Much thanks
ReplyDeleteMr. Jenkins for writing this prescription.
this is GOOD, I NEED TO TAP INTO THIS GREATNESS
ReplyDeleteI WILL POST MY EMAIL AND CONTACT INFRMATION WITH HOPES TO STAY CONNECTED TO YOUR FAN BASE. I LIKE YOUR STYLE.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
kEVIN