When you found your wife did you find her with a child? Were you over confident or were you fearful of the new responsibility. Either way you had to be a ready-made father. How did you find your wife or how will you find her? Did you find her bitter? Did you find her scared and fearful? Does lust have you thinking about taking care of her sexual needs? The flesh had me thinking all kinds of wrong thoughts but my respect and fear of God kept me from disrespecting her. Yes the thought of sex did enter my mind and those heated kissing moments did not help. What questions are on your woman with child's scared list? My wife told me she feared having another child out of wedlock and the father disappearing. Her greatest fear was having another man come into her life and abuse her child. And you know there are multitudes of abusive stepfather stories out there to justify her feelings.
Is your single mother looking for someone to save her from having to play both parents? Did she want you to save her from the shame associated with being a single mother in this society? Does she desire you to save her from the shadows of her past relationships?
Listen who placed you down here on this earth to be the savior? Jesus' name means savior but it is not the meaning of yours. You can't rescue or bail this woman out! Your down here to walk in your God given purpose and to hopefully fulfill the promises God has made to your wife and to your covenant child. To many times we, as men, mix up the word savior and protector. A "savior" redeems or compensates for a lack of while a "protector" looks out for. When I found my single mother I came into the picture trying to compensate for her lack of a husband and compensate for her child's lack of a father. I was trying to be the savior of this family instead of learning to be the protector, husband, and initiator. I wanted to balance them and bring comfort to all the possible hurts they had experienced. I was wrong and so are you if you are taking this approach.
Relax and learn their story! Find out about their life moments and don't try to use their journey against them! Work on you and you will find them looking better!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Ms Gullible and Mr Immature
Beware of immature men and gullible mothers! He may look like a handsome prince or a knight in shining armor. And she is the damsel waiting for the someone to come and rescue her from all the men who ever hurt her. Does this sound like a real story or a fairy tale? It sounds like a fair tale to me!
Many immature men are stuck as boys and are not in a hurry to mature into manhood. They can't have meaningful and nurturing relationships with family and friends because many are still nursing at their mothers breast. They like to show their power and aggression but are not wise. The addition to your family should not step on others to serve his own needs but use his power to help, protect, and serve others. Let me just cut to the chase! Immature men are trying to conquer the womb of any women who is gullible enough to let them! Immature men (saved and unsaved) are thinking about power, money, and SEX! They are committing sexual driveby's, hit and runs and are not concerned about the victims and casualities left behind. They feel everyone should bow to their whims and serve them.
Gullible single mothers are being deceived by the millions by these immature men. Why? Many single mothers are in need of money! They long for their family including a father and don't realize God the Father is right their asking them to come to him. The second most precious and sacred place God has given them is their womb and many don't even know it. It is not a place for every man to lay but a place to be given to her husband after marriage. Every unmarried women who is reading this post knows that as soon as she lets a man into her womb he loses all respect for her and moves to the next woman to conquer.
Some people would say avoid dating, marrying, and committing to Ms Gullible and Mr Immature but there are so many women and men who are gullible and immature it would be good to educate them about them.
Once you are in a friendship or relationship it is your duty to point out to them what they are doing! Let the truth not only make you free but keep you free. Remember...beware!
Many immature men are stuck as boys and are not in a hurry to mature into manhood. They can't have meaningful and nurturing relationships with family and friends because many are still nursing at their mothers breast. They like to show their power and aggression but are not wise. The addition to your family should not step on others to serve his own needs but use his power to help, protect, and serve others. Let me just cut to the chase! Immature men are trying to conquer the womb of any women who is gullible enough to let them! Immature men (saved and unsaved) are thinking about power, money, and SEX! They are committing sexual driveby's, hit and runs and are not concerned about the victims and casualities left behind. They feel everyone should bow to their whims and serve them.
Gullible single mothers are being deceived by the millions by these immature men. Why? Many single mothers are in need of money! They long for their family including a father and don't realize God the Father is right their asking them to come to him. The second most precious and sacred place God has given them is their womb and many don't even know it. It is not a place for every man to lay but a place to be given to her husband after marriage. Every unmarried women who is reading this post knows that as soon as she lets a man into her womb he loses all respect for her and moves to the next woman to conquer.
Some people would say avoid dating, marrying, and committing to Ms Gullible and Mr Immature but there are so many women and men who are gullible and immature it would be good to educate them about them.
Once you are in a friendship or relationship it is your duty to point out to them what they are doing! Let the truth not only make you free but keep you free. Remember...beware!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Buried Stuff
Are you keeping secrets or are you telling them? You say you are not hiding things, then are you bringing them into the open? The initial interview will take you both into deeper life shaking issues exposing both of your lives to each other. Life's earthquakes are those unexpected underground eruptions that we never come to understand. Life's shovel is the delibarate questions asked in the interview.
Anyone entering the extended, step, or covenant family should interview to expose their buried stuff regardless of the fear. Is this hard work? Yes it is! It will take planning, selflessness, many discussions, and time.
It is one thing to visually inspect the landscaping and be taken in by its beauty and strength. It is another thing to survey and dig up the ground to find out what character flaws are buried in it. It takes archaeological investigation to discover a find. The interview can lead to the discovery of spiritual and historical objects, ruins, cobwebs, and skeletons from the past! What secrets lie hidden in you and do you feel safe enough to bring them to the open?
Anyone entering the extended, step, or covenant family should interview to expose their buried stuff regardless of the fear. Is this hard work? Yes it is! It will take planning, selflessness, many discussions, and time.
It is one thing to visually inspect the landscaping and be taken in by its beauty and strength. It is another thing to survey and dig up the ground to find out what character flaws are buried in it. It takes archaeological investigation to discover a find. The interview can lead to the discovery of spiritual and historical objects, ruins, cobwebs, and skeletons from the past! What secrets lie hidden in you and do you feel safe enough to bring them to the open?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Don't Be Impressed with Personal Charm; Look for Character!
You will know the tree by the fruit it bears!
First impressions count! Wrapping is important, whether we are considering a house, a product, or a person. We think what looks attractive or reliable from the outside must surely be on the inside. We judge books by their covers; we buy houses based on curb appeal and we take people at face value. And they do the same to us! None of this seems fair!
People should judge by their inner values and beliefs, but it is often the first impression that decides whether someone will stick around long enough to reveal their wonderful qualities.First impressions get their strength from instinct and emotion, not on rational thought or investigation. Our gut feeling or suspicion can only be made true by asking the important questions! Guessing is an unstable way of thinking and don't be impressed with personal charm or deceived by the face change; look for character.
First impressions do count but what occurs when the wrapping changes on the outside and you experience a "first impression repeat"! A "first impression repeat" happens when a person does not examine why they like certain personalities. Faces change but you can still marry the wrong character. Don't be impressed with the beauty of the landscaping but find out what is good and bad beneath the ground! This is the best impression you can make.
First impressions count! Wrapping is important, whether we are considering a house, a product, or a person. We think what looks attractive or reliable from the outside must surely be on the inside. We judge books by their covers; we buy houses based on curb appeal and we take people at face value. And they do the same to us! None of this seems fair!
People should judge by their inner values and beliefs, but it is often the first impression that decides whether someone will stick around long enough to reveal their wonderful qualities.First impressions get their strength from instinct and emotion, not on rational thought or investigation. Our gut feeling or suspicion can only be made true by asking the important questions! Guessing is an unstable way of thinking and don't be impressed with personal charm or deceived by the face change; look for character.
First impressions do count but what occurs when the wrapping changes on the outside and you experience a "first impression repeat"! A "first impression repeat" happens when a person does not examine why they like certain personalities. Faces change but you can still marry the wrong character. Don't be impressed with the beauty of the landscaping but find out what is good and bad beneath the ground! This is the best impression you can make.
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